Trinkets, Worthless, 8 (d100)

These trinket are garbage plain and simple. They would be termed vendor trash or junk loot in video games. They aren’t touched by stray magic or mystery as with regular trinkets, aren’t made from valuable materials and aren’t particularly useful even if they aren’t damaged.

d100 Result

1

A box of odd beads that bear no resemblance to eyes, yet always seem to watch the nearest creature.

2

A wanted poster that bears the face of a terrified elf. The reward is not listed.

3

A bright orange, ceramic throwing star that will always miss its target.

4

A small pair of scissors that only cut eyebrow hair.

5

A glass bottle filled with multiple layers of differently-colored sand.

6

A dried leaf that is entirely unaffected by any sort of natural wind or breeze.

7

A shirt button that changes shape every day.

8

A map with vague directions to an abandoned gnome’s house.

9

A small wooden box that contains a single, worn thimble.

10

A 1’ x 2’ sheet of white canvas upon which the words “SUFFERING IS NOT ART!” are written and underlined in blood.

11

A mouthpiece for an unknown musical instrument.

12

A single newt’s eye in a glass jar.

13

A small jar of nails that can only be driven by a glass hammerhead.

14

A small jar of glass nails that can only be driven by a cold iron hammerhead.

15

A sword scabbard that’s filled to the brim with tiny wooden swords.

16

A fine, leather pouch that contains exactly 248 smooth stone pebbles.

17

A thin sheet of cooking paper that’s been folded into a swan.

18

A decaying wooden knife inscribed by a child that reads “The Ultimate Blade of Destruction”.

19

An old doll wooden doll in rotting knit clothing. The doll’s eyes seem to follow the creature closest to it and people who sleep near it regularly suffer from nightmares

20

A sickly green humanoid bone.

21

An odd metal cog that spins on its own every so often.

22

A small wooden carving that depicts a naked goblin scratching his hindquarters.

23

A small dull dagger that refuses to sharpen.

24

A rusted coin that slowly absorbs oil it comes into contact with.

25

A long letter of complaint addressed to a school teacher criticizing his methods and general personality.

26

A glass jar containing a dozen folded paper frogs.

27

A small jar of hard candies that taste of sour apples and never seems to go bad.

28

A small doll with a cloak and toy dagger attached. On the back of the doll, the letters “TDG” are written.

29

A drinking horn with an odd rune carved on it.

30

A tiny pink bottle that smells of roses when it is empty.

31

A wooden carving of an orc doing a handstand.

32

A small twig that doubles as the perfect toothpick, no matter who uses it.

33

A gnome’s hair brush.

34

A small painting of a horse’s rear end.

35

A cork for an old wine bottle that won’t fit in any other bottle.

36

A small pot of horse glue that says “NOT FOOD, SERIOUSLY” on the side.

37

A bamboo scroll tube containing a legal and notarized deed for a house whose address doesn’t exist.

38

A dagger made of folded parchment, that could at best give someone a paper cut.

39

A wooden box containing twelve matching pieces of broccoli that have somehow remained fresh.

40

A bar of soap that smells like rotten meat.

41

A key that breaks the first time it’s used in a lock. To add insult to injury, it doesn’t open the lock.

42

A tin of makeup that’s just the most absurd shade of orange.

43

A magically preserved apple that tastes like an orange.

44

A letter from an unknown sender that simply reads, “I told you so!”. The return address is plainly labeled “Feywild”.

45

An undersized wooden backscratcher, for use by gnomes.

46

A tattered blacksmith cap full of red dwarf hair.

47

A small roll of leather that’s been cured with giant urine.

48

The hollowed-out shell of a large hermit crab.

49

A crudely made treasure map that leads to a beggar’s dandelion garden.

50

A small blue stone that feels like silk to the touch.

51

A pocket multitool with only one tool remaining in it. The remaining tool is a magnifying glass that has the words “Find the rest of me.” inscribed on it.

52

A wooden scroll case filled with fine ash. The top of the lid sports a tiny iron spike that may have triggered some sort of combustable trap.

53

A fist sized bar of harsh lye soap

54

A homemade pan flute consisting of a dozen reeds of gradually increasing length held together by vines and dried grasses. Despite its crude origins it plays quite nicely

55

A dog muzzle made out of leather and steel with adjustable straps that allow it to fit most medium and large canines.

56

A brown leather hawk’s hood that’s used to keep the birds docile during periods when they are not hunting or resting.

57

A ceremonial headdress of similar make to one of the local barbarian tribes, with the exception that it is made entirely out of steel wiring and tin spoons. You’re not sure if this is some sort of artistic interpretation, strange inside joke or weird form of insult.

58

A preserved, hollowed out corpse of a Flumphling stuffed with sage.

59

A metal flask containing a thick concoction that smells dark and musty, like a forest after heavy rains.

60

An unremarkable spoon fashioned from horn.

61

A thick, heavily padded leather and burlap sleeve made to fit over the bearer’s arm and serves as a target for animals being trained to attack.

62

A sealed one gallon cask of Bufo, a favorite drink of goblins, boggards, and other primitive humanoids. It is made by soaking a poisonous toad or frog (Or its eggs) in weak beer or by “milking” these animals for their poison and mixing it with the beer (Allows the animal to be used repeatedly). Some tribes use wide-mouthed jugs and leave the dead animal inside as a crunchy treat for eating once the drink is gone.

63

A sealed one gallon cask of luglurch ale. This pale frothy beer is found by most races to be too salty to swallow, with the exception of halfings who find it an acquired taste

64

A clockwork blue bird that emits a horrendous screeching sound when it is wound up.

65

A musty smelling, threadbare, grey towel that never completely dries. If someone attempts to dry themselves with it, they will develop a mildewy smell exactly like the towel until the creature takes bathes and dries off with a proper towel.

66

A purple ring box that croaks like a frog when opened. It is lined with lime green satin on the inside and smells of a swamp.

67

An old black cord with three matching light blue buttons, strung on it, all about the size of a gold piece.

68

A large piece of parchment with a tea stain in the shape of a kitten.

69

A rolled up parchment with a sketching of the ugliest Dwarven baby the bearer has ever laid eyes on.

70

A beat up, wooden compass that always points towards the bearer, never north.

71

A plain, wooden footstool about six inches high, with a round top about 18 inches across.

72

A crude, 500 piece puzzle that appears to be a treasure map, but 100 of pieces in the middle that show the specific coordinates and details of the treasure are missing

73

A thick braided cord made of dark leather, hanging from which is a giant’s toenail reeking of cheese.

74

A voodoo doll of a young man that’s missing it’s head.

75

A small jar of chocolate cookies that cannot be opened or broken.

76

A set of crooked and yellowed dentures with teeth missing.

77

A dictionary with over half of the words spelled wrong and out of alphabetical order.

78

A brass chamber pot that was not thoroughly cleaned since its last use.

79

A wooden scroll tube containing the blueprints of a church that has long since collapsed.

80

A faux-distressed piece of parchment that is a crude map of the local area, with red circles and arcane gibberish scrawled on it. Intentionally made to look old and worn, it’s actually a simple piece of parchment that’s been singed, crumpled, and rolled in the dirt. It’s obviously meant as bait to lure creatures into an ambush it appears that whatever dimwitted humanoid authored this had a very poor knowledge of spelling and grammar. Any literate creature who so much as glances at it can identify the map as a fake.

81

A plain thimble, with absolutely nothing particularly interesting about it.

82

A crude earring made from a tiny tooth, wrapped in thin twine.

83

A formal letter that is badly seared and charred. It’s impossible to decipher because of the damage.

84

A small blue candle that smells of fruit. It’s fragrance is weak and barely noticeable.

85

An assortment of pieces from cracked eggshells. Most are a pale creamy color, like the egg of a chicken. Some larger pieces are a deep purple.

86

A porcelain doll about the length of a human’s index finger. The face is chipped away.

87

A black flask with a gaping hole in its side. It’s covered in punctures that look like bite marks.

88

A silky cloth fraying quite badly around its edges. It’s almost reflective in its lustrous sheen.

89

A smooth, round stone about the size of a human fist. It feels oddly heavy.

90

A set of three clay dice, painted with black pips.

91

A chunk of rusted metal covered in dents.

92

A somewhat oval-shaped… thing. You think it might be really, really, really stale bread.

93

A pair of glasses whose frames look as good as new, but the lenses are stained, cloudy, and cracked.

94

A trio of matching bracelets, made from knotted thread. You’re almost certain there’s supposed to be four of them.

95

A hollow reed that creates a low, soft whistle when blown.

96

A hand sized figurine of a cat, perpetually coated in a layer of dust.

97

A waterskin filled with a slick, greasy oil. Patterns of snakes cover its sides.

98

A single tile that appears like it was from some type of mosaic mural. It’s a dull green in color.

99

A pouch of bitter tea leaves. Their aftertaste is unsatisfying and almost sour.

100

A jagged arrowhead, cracked into a shape reminiscent of a fox’s head.