Shitpost Spells (d100)

d100 Result

1

Arcane Sock

2

Vampiric Couch

3

Speak With Dad

4

Clam Emotions

5

Tasha’s Hideous Daughter

6

Summon Lesser Damons

7

Cloud Kilt

8

Mordekainen’s Primate Sanctum

9

Turn On Dead

10

Bestow Purse

11

Heather Fall

12

Feather Ball

13

Cloud of Jaggers

14

Child Touch

15

Shocking Rasp

16

Leomond’s Tiny Hat

17

Thorn Ship

18

Bacon of Hope

19

Beacon of Nope

20

Animate Mead

21

Nark Vision

22

Fire Molt

23

Rice Knife

24

Tenser’s Floating Desk

25

Dancing Tights

26

Disgust Self

27

Scorching Lay

28

Animate Head

29

Lice Storm

30

Rice Storm

31

Cone of Cod

32

Gease

33

True Peeing

34

Crown of Sadness

35

Clown of Madness

36

Crown of Radness

37

Fish

38

Shitter

39

Gay of Frost

40

Tenser’s Floating Dick

41

Alter Shelf

42

Boner of the Earth

43

Conjure Gey

44

Beacon of Dope

45

Firebulls

46

Booing Blade

47

Fire Belt

48

Lightning Lyre

49

Magic Stoner

50

Bending

51

Hold Earth

52

Rag of Frost

53

Resist Dance

54

Shave Water

55

Spade the Dying

56

Thunderchad

57

Vicious Monkery

58

Chromatic Orc

59

Colon Spray

60

Divine Flavor

61

Hearth Tremor

62

Faerie Fine

63

Father Fall

64

Foodberry

65

Guiding Belt

66

Hail of Horns

67

Nice Knife

68

Hunter’s Park

69

Tragic Missile

70

Ray of Slickness

71

Sheep

72

Sneak With Animals

73

Tenser’s Gloating Disk

74

Firebell

75

Crease

76

Mail of Thorns

77

Eat Metal

78

Hunter’s Mart

79

Old Person

80

Mice Storm

81

Nice Storm

82

Hump

83

Locate Animals or Pants

84

Dongstrider

85

Ass Heal

86

Ass Suggestion

87

Meld into Store

88

Moisty Step

89

Moonbean

90

Plane Shit

91

Power Word Bill

92

Produce Lame

93

Raise Dad

94

Mage Armoire

95

Frog Cloud

96

Dish

97

Mall of Force

98

Cause Bear

99

Shocking Grass

100

Melf’s Flaccid Arrow